Happy Wife-Happy Life

That's what Dave says anyways..well lately it's been crazy wife, I'm sure. I am trying to keep up with 3 part-time jobs, and not doing very well at it. And still nurse Lucy and stay home with her some. But it's just so difficult. She had an opthamologist appointment-thought her eyes were turning in, turns out he's not worried about it. So we're keeping our fingers crossed, and hoping her eyes don't. That would make her mommy so sad. I just can't imagine what it would be like to have worries all the time, thank God outside of this and her cat scan-which turned out she just had a big gourd-everything's been fine. Both of those things have been two of the scariest things in my life. Trusting God with your child is very logical and very true...but believing that He has the best in mind for them when you're afraid is very tough. Man I love that little girl-she's changed me so!
Also Lucy's allergic to broccoli, I think! She vomitted everywhere and now...to figure out if it was that for sure or not! It made mommy so worried causes she was at work. I really hope this mommy worrying stuff gets easier-for some reason I don't think it does.
In other news, No Tree up yet, no shopping done, and I am waiting for excel trial version to download because I need it to do work from home.
OH DEAR, what to do!
Still thankful though, so much to be grateful for

No Expectations

Can't ever seem to blog anymore...so for now, if you stop by just know, I am still here. I check this, facebook and all the blogs I love-especially some new cooking blogs I've found. And with all that, Lucy, Dave, and the now 3 part-time jobs I seem to have. I just don't have time. I'd love to see you at Mom's Diner where I waitress on Sunday this week-from 11-2, so stop in! Here's hoping things slow down soon, seems I should change the name of me blog again.

Can't Touch This

Well my blog that is!! Seems nowadays with work & Lucy! I wonder if I am the worst blogger in the world. At any rate...I wanted to share something I overheard recently that concerns me. I know the new healthcare plan has it's kinks and I am not taking sides or anything BUT I recently heard from a very conservative person that President Obama will be forcing people to have abortions if they have more than one child and that all old people will be forced to have assisted suicides at a certain age! COME ON, REALLY? Is this America-because that's worse than some socialist contries. I just don't get it-as someone who thinks the healthcare system, specifically the health insurance system needs an overhaul...I'm just grateful that the ball is rolling! Chime in, if you read and help me know the truth about what's in this new package-I don't wanna be ignorant, but I really don't think what that conservative pastor said is accurate. Just like always let's scare them into doing what we think is right!

Oh and here's our Lulu...too cute!

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday and started work...

I should be sleeping because I started work today and Lucy started waking in the middle of the night again-so fun when you have to get up at 6am. At any rate I wanted to share some fun pics of times our families been having lately. THINGS ARE LOOKING UP IN THE WEBER HOUSE, I'm hoping we're over the hump! or at least this one.

Back to God

All of my posts over the last 13 months have really been about baby Lucy but I am hoping to write a little about God today. Having a baby has made Dave and I do a lot of talking about God and all things spiritual. I guess a new little being will have that affect on you...make you evaluate everything. I've been thinking about my college career and studying the Bible. I graduated with a Bachelor's of Religious Education and an Associate of Arts-I did all that studying I guess so that I could have a career in what evangelicals call "the ministry." Although I loved my job as far as working with people and caring for them in their every day life, I hated the organization and leadership aspects of the church. So now having been out of ministry for over a year-I have just a couple thoughts.

*I am still paying for a college loan which gave me a degree that you could poop on in this job market. I had a great experience and made a lot of great friends, but I'm not sure how practical that major really is.

**Having studied all that Bible and taken Greek and Hebrew you might think I'm some sort of scholar, but really I am not. I don't know any more about the Bible than most people. The best experiences I've had with God have nothing to do with Greek or Hebrew.

***I used to think that it was important to answer the unknowns: Why is there suffering? Why do people get cancer? Does God send people to burn in hell? Now I don't really care. I guess I don't believe I'm ever going to know those answers this side of eternity, so what's the point. And if God did show me some sort of answer would it change the way I live here? I'm not sure it would. I'm trying to make the most of every day regardless of the answers.

****I've come to think that church is a very social place, and really enjoy the people I meet there. I also enjoy the encouragement we get from people who are in the same life circumstances as us. I just don't have a desire to go at all. I'm sure that condemns me to hell in some eyes. I don't have complaints about the preachers or the music, I just don't want to go. I'm not sure I'll get through this, maybe it's a phase. Dave and I are trying to live in community with others-sharing all things in common and so far this is going well.

*****I think I'm almost through the mess I made of myself, getting my ego stroked through ministry. That's right you read correctly but whether someone be outright arrogant, or insecure like me, ministry can fill that void for a while. I'm done using people to make me feel good about myself, it's empty and meaningless. Wherever I go there I am, so I'm learning to change me!!!

******Right now, I think about how to teach Lucy to be a caring, compassionate, responsible human being. I want her to know she was created and prayed for-that she is valuable. I want her to know that she is the best gift we've been given and we are trying to raise her as a gift to be shared with the world-no matter what she chooses to do with her life. I don't want her to feel the spiritual pressure I felt, and so we begin a new journey. Raising a spiritual child outside the walls of the church. What shall we do without Sunday school? (I won't lie she'll still probably go to VBS-it's so cool these days!-call me a hypocrite I know I am).

Wordless Wednesday

Many people have blogs and they do a thing called wordless wednesday...I think I'm going to give it a whirl, starting now.

Our Little Prisoner

A favorite gift for Lucy from our friend Matt! What a great guy-and hilarious too! Here's our "Boy Named LU" hope you get the reference.

These Days

I never thought I would get so much enjoyment out of taking pictures of Lucy, but lots of afternoons I find myself just sitting on a blanket with her shooting our little doll. We are starting to get out more and more-this weekend we took a short trip to visit our friends, and Lucy was OUTSTANDING! She napped and went to bed like a champ. Let the fun times with baby begin-at least until she starts being more mobile.

Here's a couple of my shots, now if I could just learn the editing program Dave put on our computer.

Obsess Much?

Two things I'm obsessing about:
1. Free Blog Giveaways! LOVE
2. Tummy Sleeping-what do I do?
Okay so another try at a giveaway...I'm a stay at home mom for the summer and I love looking for chances at cute free stuff for our Lucy. One of these tutus would be so cute on her bum!
http://ballerinabells.com

and in other news Lucy is starting to turn in her crib so much! I just feel so bad cause I let her nap on her tummy, and I'm about to try it for the night. I just have so much fear about SIDS! I think SIDS is from the devil-seriously, can't my kid who WON'T sleep on her back, just sleep on that big ol' tummy and wake up in the morning-no worries. I know lots of people who still let their kids tummy sleep even though it's not reccommended. For now, we leave her in the carseat in her crib at night and tummy for naps, but I hope she rolls over soon so I don't have to worry!

Another great giveaway. please win!

So recently Lucy has been garage sale-ing some with mommy. Two weeks ago, all dressed in PINK!! One old man (well 60's) said what a cute little guy! UHhh...do boys wear pink polkadots and flowers. I DON"T THINK SO. So here's hoping I win the head bands at:

http://thirtyhandmadedays.blogspot.com/



Oh and for the record, this is my baby GIRL.

It's Alive!!

Warning this may be graphic: Okay after almost ten weeks of poopy diapers and learning to be comfortable whipping my boob out in public, I think I am finally settling into a routine. By that I mean, Lucy runs the show and I learn to chill out. We are finally making our way back to some of the things we did before, hanging with friends, trips to WalMart-heck we even watched the HBO movie about John Adams part I and II the other day. (highly recommend by the way). It's been a tough transition for us. We are still adjusting. I think the older you are when you start your family the more difficult it is. It is just crazy to think how much this little girl needs us, and about our future providing for her. I am enjoying my time off with her and can't believe it's already been 10weeks that we've had her. She is smiling so much more, cooing, and picking her head up so well. She even napped (on her tummy-don't tell) in her crib for two hours. What a great start, considering we currently put her to bed for the night in her car seat, in the crib. She's doing great with breastfeeding, not sure what she was but I'd bet 15-16lbs. She'll be right on track to double her weight by her third month. Also she LOVES being by herself-I know this sounds strange but stick a stuffed animal by her and she'll talk away. I think we have an independent one on our hands. So after 10 weeks, I can finally say I feel more alive again-what a crazy ride this life has been...can't wait for more with Lucy and Dave. Loretta too! Here are some pics from this week. Someday I'll get back to writing about more than just Lucy, but for now-

Daddy and His Girl

Sometimes words can't describe how you feel, especially when the two most important people in your life are together! My favorite thing to do is watch Dave with Lucy. It's beautiful, and although he worries about not being a good father-I just see it in his eyes and she feels it in his touch. He will be. The first pic is a couple days home with her, the second one...just yesterday!

When She Smiles

Well our Lucy is such a big girl now...capturing our hearts with her coos, and smiles. She is a delight-and most of the time sleeps through the night!! I can't believe we have her, each day getting to know her little personality is so fun. She is eight weeks today-2 months, it's already going so fast. Hope these pics (ignore my bad hair and double chin) make people smile-we love her so much!

This Saturday, our little Lucy will be

7 weeks old. Hard to believe, everyone said time flies and they weren't joking!! This is her in her last new born outfit that still fits. She is weighing 11 pounds now, smiling, cooing and keeping mommy and daddy entertained. She even takes a bottle of breastmilk every now and again. I will have to say that parenting has been one of my toughest and most rewarding experiences so far. Everyday I fall more in love with this little blessing. She is such a good baby-I know we are very fortunate...no colic, sleeps through the night already, eats well...no complaints there. But I think I would have lost my mind if she had, because nursing has been difficult-got some very sore nipples*they even bled!!!

Our life is very different now, everything we do is on her little time frame, but I can't imagine what we did before. It's so nice having a little girl with us all the time. I would like to describe more of my feelings, but she is stirring right now in the carrier I am wearing. I will just say that I never knew that a child would be so amazing. I also would say I don't know what God intended for us to experience having children this way-but our experience has been both challenging and made us question things, as well as made us believe that there must be a God even more. When I look at those little hands, feet, and ears-I can't believe that she is the combonation of Dave and I. It's so crazy, how two people can make something so beautiful and perfect. Well she's really mad now, so I best be parenting. 2 months ago, I could have written more. :)

Lucy Anne Weber

It's been a while since my last post, because we have our Lucy. She was born April 4th at 3:01am and well we've been learning a lot. We all had a rough start. After being induced(because my blood pressure was a bit high) on Thursday April 2nd at 8pm, water broke at 5am on Friday the 3rd and then Miss Lucy came via c-section on the 5th. I pushed for almost two hours and couldn't get her out...her heart rate shot up and we both had fevers so they decided to get her out. Which at that point, not sleeping since Tuesday nite...I was more than ready for a c-section. I had a Dr. from Africa who did the c-section, but mine was there too-she took care of Lucy. Dave was with me the whole time until they got out. Seriously I'm not sure how to describe the experience except TRIPPY!!! I was so tired, I can't believe all that happened. I will try to write more about the birthing experience later. We came home on April 7th and then the breastfeeding frenzy began. Just now am I starting to feel better about life...I think the older you are when you start having kids, the bigger adjustment. But man do we love her, and can't imagine our lives without her already. Crazy, how quickly they grow...3 weeks old tomorrow. Here's some pictures and more updates to come. Hopefully this weekend when Daddy's home. Lucy is stirring in her carseat in her crib-why move her if she's content? :) It begins.

It's Gotta Be Time, Right?

The final strech, Dave found this picture a while back and I keep thinking it's gotta be soon. I am 39 weeks along-due in 9 days. Please don't stay in any longer, girlie!!! I really hope that she isn't one of those that camps out in utero two weeks after we've been expecting her. Not to complain, but I had no idea the last two weeks would be so uncomfortable, other than the puking in the beginning, I've been very healthy. Now I can't sleep...well meaning people tell me it's God's way of preparing you, but after reading some posts on facebook from some of my friends who are new moms...seems like not sleeping the last few weeks doesn't even come close to how tired you'll be when they arrive.
I'm ready for her to come as far as my body goes, but my emotions are all over the place. We still don't have a name for sure...not even 3 that we love. So that worries me, can you take a baby home from the hospital without a name? And this whole 1+1=3 thing, I don't quite get that math. Don't get me wrong we can't wait for her to be in our lives. It's just we are very FREE right now, and I'm starting to sense the inevitable change that will happen. So I wonder how will I handle it, breastfeeding, up late, body all messed up, hormones, and trying to still be a great wife. I know my husband has the patience to handle me and this new bundle of joy-so I'll bank on that.
One final thought about parenting, there are so many things I don't have figured out (as you may well know based on my thoughts on faith) but there is one thing. It's very difficult for me to go through this whole experience of pregnancy and say there isn't' a God. All of the details and crazy things that develop. The fact that two people make love and make this-that must be intelligent design. How else would you get two people to take on this much responsibility, unless making it is fun? My husband and I are not about to boldly go where no man has gone before, but we've never been here for sure. I'm very glad for David and the gift God gave me in Him. He's my best friend and I'm completely in love with him. (sorry for the sap again). He makes me laugh even when things are rough. I just think that if everyone were blessed in this way, the world might be a lot more forgiving and happy. Thank God for David Weber and for Baby Weber too! I am hoping that the birth goes smoothly and we have a healthy baby girl.

Another Thought on Faith

Well recently two of my friends both ex-pastors have been formulating more of their beliefs, well more like, more of what they aren't sure of. You can check out one of them here http://brucedroppings.com/ At any rate, I'm not sure what words they would use to describe themselves but I believe Agnostic and Universalist might be as close as they get towards a box. Although, believe me you meet these two men and a box isn't where they belong. Both of them are kind and accepting, understanding, and non-judgmental.
Here's what I find sad, I believe they both know that I still believe in God 100%. But they don't treat me the way they have been treated by Christians. When I am with them I feel acceptance, love, and no obligation. They are looked down upon, as failures of Christian faith. I find that very sad. They are not scary, they have not corrupted me...matter of fact much of our discussion has helped me. They haven't made me lose my faith, rather they have increased my love and acceptance for others. When Dave and I hang out with them, we feel so much like a part of their family. It's weird but no matter what, there's no obligation. It's such a free feeling. So what disqualifies them in Christianity? They aren't sure about ANYTHING!!! Weird but I don't know many Christians that are sure about things, they are just HOPING or faithing that things are what they believe. Here's my question: Is God okay with us not being sure? Is He big enough to still be God despite our disbelief? If I have some wrong theology can He handle that?
I don't know the answers to those questions, but I sure hope so. I hope that there is a God. And that He really is love. I hope he created this world so that we could enjoy and that somehow for some reason, when things got screwed up, He knows how to fix it. I am hoping that if all of this comes crashing to an end (like many of my Christian friends believe), that we'll all be sort of surprised by the ending-no one could have predicted. I also am hoping that He knows me, and that I'm tired of trying to figure things out. I just wanna live, love and try to do some good for those I come in contact with.
I want to say to those two men and their families that I am referring to, the Webers are grateful!! You challenge us, love us, and accept us-and people spend lifetimes looking for friends like that. One of you we've just gotten to know, and hope that we'll continue this journey as friends. The other one, you've taught us generosity, love, and kindness can go a long way. (guess I'm getting sappy like you!)

Modern Pirate Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

Modern Pirate Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!
More fun giveaways on blogs. I'm really into this, while I have these contractions. Ugh, when weill she come?

Simpler Times

This is a picture of the door to our baby's room, my husbands bedroom as a child. He sanded all of those baseball stickers off, so she could start anew. I've been thinking a lot about this door lately...I have spent the majority of my adult (18 and older) life trying to not do things like this. I have been soo worried about screwing up everything. As a kid, I was taught that putting stickers on a door was bad...because you couldn't get them off. And it made the house look bad, but the back of your bedroom door seems reasonable to me. What's crazy is, Dave wanted to take this picture to remember it. I am just thinking that there's really nothing wrong with being a kid...sticking stickers on the door. Dave sanded them off and painted over the door no trouble. What cool parents he had to let him do that. I think Baby Girl Weber will be able to try some things like this too.
I am still trying to shake off FEAR of screwing things up, mainly due to some of my church experiences. I have lived my life with fear of rejection and a desire to please others so much, that it stole my life from me. Maybe some people can make it through their religious experiences without a sense of obligation, but I didn't. It is still something I struggle with everyday. It's getting better, but I'm not quite through it.
I am hoping to raise a daughter who knows that she might screw things up, but there is always someone who can help her fix it. Besides who says stickers on the door is wrong anyways?! Here's to me being up too late, writing this post. And here's to the future for our little girl. May you know love and joy all of your days, and when trouble comes may you have peace enough to get through, and a mommy and daddy who can comfort you-and sand your doors! I'm excited to meet you, and Daddy is too! We love you already.