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i quit here :) it is not done and i am outtie for kenya

alright i am hoping to get this dang thing fixed tomorrow. there is no comment section and frankly that sucks. maybe nick will be able to help me soon...hint, hint. or maybe i will figure it out some other way. i did have a good teacher in lydia. the count down to kenya gets closer. tomorrow afternoon, SHOTS. i guess it isn't that big of a deal. :0 but i haven't had them since college.

i was dissappointed in janet jackson this past weekend. not because of the one breast or teet as brian would call it. but because i mean if you are going to do it, go for it. my grandma even said tonite why not show em both, and she...well...she is not that into boobs. at any rate, i think that piercing your nipple would hurt like hell and i would guess after pain like that you'd want some people to see that. i dunno. not that i want to see nipples every superball, as grandma also called it tonite, but it did probably sell some cd's which might even cover the fines.

okay i work on the blog tomorrow, i hope. who knows though, lots of work. good nite.

most recently i have been going to bed around 10pm and waking up at 6:30am or so...no not to have my devotional time with the Lord. just waking up. i am starting to feel like an old person. tonite i head to granger with my good friends, lucas and krissy. i am really excited for them to begin the process of planting a church. i know that the journey will be rough, but they are faith-filled people who have been given a vision, and i know that will be protected. we go tonite to hang out with people, share with them the vision of Oasis, and do some worship and ministry time. i love that the Lord blesses me with these opportunities to go and strengthen and encourage his body. i am excited to take my guitar and sing with them and over them. i think that of all the things i get to do with the Lord worship is one of my favorites. the holy place, the throne room of grace is incredible...there is no where more intimate that i know, and tonite i will share that with new friends. exciting.

i am filled with joy today. i know that it is always there but today i am on fire for life. it's weird because yesterday i wanted to kick life's ass :) i am a nerd, that just made me laugh out loud. i am not sure why these two extremes, but i was starting to feel bi-polar. just kidding. i know that this joy is available to me all the time, it is just weird how quickly i turn it off.

i also just finished reading FINDING CONTENTMENT...neil clark warren. you know the e-harmony dude. wow was it a real drainer. i picked it up because it was in our library and no one had read it yet. but now i know why. any contentment i did have is gone, alright so i am being a little extreme. it really wasn't helpful. i am not sure how to tell people to find contentment. i don't think that expecting contentment on earth is really a right desire. i mean this isn't our home and we are seeking contentment. i don't know any one who is completely content, if they were i think they would be terrible to hang out with. i mean there is something about the striving for more, straining on for something. where there is no vision my people die, right. so i guess being discontent is right where i am supposed to be. maybe next week i will seek my contentment on e-harmony, then again maybe i would rather spend my $100 on something more worthwhile.

let it snow, snow, snow...just so long as i can get out of my garage for class tomorrow morning. i was a bit delayed due to the giant snow drift agst. my garage. otherwise, winter in the country, in the trailer not so bad.

something i am thinking right now...i would rather be reading a novel. i dunno. that is all of my random thoughts for today. i suppose i should get back to work.

I do have some thoughts but it is 10pm and i am going to bed, because i have to work in Toledo tomorrow which means i get up by 5am or so. i would like to share these quick thoughts...

My struggle lately has been the fact that i can't quite do what Ephesians says. forgetting what lies behind and straining towards the goal. instead i tend to strain towards what is behind and forget what is in the future. there are many things that i have done in the past that have been haunting me especially this past week. i wish i could go back and change them, you know get one of those four square do-overs, but i can't. so i need help, i need that which is to heavy and burdensome to me to be picked up by one who can carry the load. i am not sure that i have done very good at straining toward the future, the goal...but it starts tonite before i go to bed. i want to have dreams and thoughts of the promises of God and how they will manifest in my life.

all right that is me for right now...not much new. i got a car today from some very generous people in our church. i am grateful for their blessing and giving to the Lord. i know that they will receive honor for that. i am completely humbled by the Lord's provision in my life, in abundance. i also have raised almost $800 more than i need to go to Kenya. again i am blessed in abundance. i know that the Lord is honoring the faith He planted in me and i am grateful. i hope to have more stories like this soon. continue to pray for my mind as i prepare to go to Kenya.

good nite